Intro to Brando!
10 years old, smart, face filled with angels kisses (freckles), blond hair, blue eyes.. sure to be a heart breaker when he grows up. Tonight I choose to start with child number 2. Thanks to a series of "unfortunate" events that unfolded this morning, he has been on my mind all day. I remember the day that I told my husband we were expecting "little man." I was 17 and he was a senior in college. Both of us worked full-time at McDonald's.. no laughing.. most of us have been there. It was another challenge to face and we were ready to face it together.
Brandon has had his share of challenges since joining us in 1999. He is second in line.. right behind his sister Maddie, and that doesn't settle well with him. He is hyperactive, yet leads a relatively healthy lifestyle. He is conscious of what he eats and likes to work out with dad. He hates roller coasters but will take a barreling dive off a 15 foot club house in the back yard. Where did the time go? Seems like yesterday he was hardly able to walk because he had a gagillion baby fat rolls on his little legs.. now he is grown into a slightly rebellious young man.
He wrote me a letter of apology this afternoon.. I rejoiced yet at the same time it broke my heart. He has a hard time talking to me out loud.. he has to express himself through words.. he expressed his regret for a decision he made this morning that got him in trouble.. and wishes he had listened to me more.. said he felt he was stupid.. (this is the part that broke my heart). How do I explain that he is so very special, and far from what he sees himself as? Why does he believe this to begin with? Where did I fail him as a parent and not lift his spirits and have more confidence in himself? Why this and why that? All day long I questioned everything. After praying about it I realized I was looking at it all wrong. I need to take this opportunity to allow God to work in his life and find my role in His work with Brandon. I'm not the one in charge.. God is. He is the One with the plan and I just need to know my part in it. Tonight my prayer is God gives me the words tomorrow to lift this boy's spirit, tell him I love him and that he is special and there is nothing he can do to make me believe he is stupid. He is amazing.. and he will always be my "little man."
